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ljennerazianl
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Name: jenn
Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Birthday: 8/8/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: using chopsticks incorrectly, watching ducks by the lake, singing loudly while i drive, eating clementines
Expertise: being a little dork, making as little sense as possible, randomness
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/15/2002
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| ::copied from xanga.com/iamjniffer::
FOR TJC BLOGRING MEMBERS
DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THIS ENTRY. PLEASE TRY TO LOOK AT
THE BIGGER PICTURE. IT MAY NOT MAKE SENSE RIGHT NOW, BUT HOPEFULLY, IT
WILL SOME DAY.
so, the TJC General Assembly of USA wants ME TO TAKE SOME ACTION.
PROBLEM: the TJC blogring.
when i created the TJC blogring, it was so that each of us knew we
weren't alone in our journey for a higher spirituality. there are
twists, turns and it's bumpy along the way; but when it comes down to
it, God is at the end of the road. it's true that none of us are
perfect, because we are only human. although we were created in His
likeness, we are too lowly to be anything near his greatness. we are
tempted by the temporary pleasures of the world and lured into Satan's
trap through anger and pride. this is reality. i thought we could help
each other and find a better way.
but there's another side to the story...
we are representatives of Christ. by doing the things we do and saying
the things we say, we can potentially harm someone else's faith or
create barriers from ever finding the truth.
the fact that ten people are weak does not make it right for the
eleventh to fall short of God's expectations. rather than pulling each
other down, we should all be praying for each other, and asking that
God will use His Holy Spirit to lift us out of the darkness. instead...
the TJC blogring has turned into something of quantity, not quality.
are the experiences we share the ones that will glorify God's name?
time and time again, i've clicked through the blogring and found people
who regard the Holy Spirit as powerless, treat the Church as though
it's just a place to go.
do we truly believe in Jesus? do we believe what He has to offer? then why are we hiding it from the world?
i am not perfect. time and time again i fall in my faith and struggle
to climb back up. many of you are frequent readers of my blog and know
that i am no better than the next person; if anything, i'm probably
worse. but i do love God and i do care for His name. if this is a
problem, then all i can do is try my best to make it go away.
as blogring leader and the initial creator, the General Assembly has
deemed me responsible. i know it just seems like "they don't
understand" and that all they care about is censorship. but maybe if
they didn't have anything to censor, they wouldn't have to.
i hope that everyone understands the contents of your xanga is open to
the world-- including younger brothers and sisters who look up to you,
your RE students, your parents, the Pastors, the RE Board, and most
importantly truth seekers. are we aready to represent?
leaving the blogring or hiding the contents of your daily life will not
make you a better Christian. believing and trusting in God's word will.
share your faith. share God's love.
i'll work on it if you do 
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| xanga.com/ljennerazian is DONE.
i am j niffer
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| gmail --
i had 5 invites. lost one, somehow. gave one away and had 3 left.
then, i had 6 invites. gave 3 away, and had 3 left.
suddenly i have 6 invites... AGAIN.
who wants me to hook them up?
plead your case, and we'll talk 
actually wutevz. it's so ridiculous how easy it is to get gmail now.
everyone has all these invites. just lemme know if you want it.
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| hello there.
still no internet access. the "swat" team promises to come and save
me later. i'm at work right now. i signed for the 6-9 shift, which is
pretty hot because no one comes into the office for help because they
think the administration office is like 9-5. haha. so i'm allowed to
use the internet and whatever here. i figured hey, what better than to
catch up on my xanga.
hmm. college life. still trying to pick up on why it's known to be
such a drastic change from high school life. haha. i guess things are
slightly different, but nothing too extreme. except that i'm sitting in
an office. haha. i've met some cool people, also some not so cool
people. haha. mostly arite though. i was actually planning on
adding/dropping some classes today but after going to all of them, i
decided not to. haha. criminology at 8:10 tomorrow morning, baby! that
should be fun. i can't wait for criminology. i'm so psyched for it. but
come on... 8:10!!!! argh. oh well. it'll be worth it.
i hope i'm not getting fat. i haven't even really had the chance to
get to the gym. *siGH* its okay. i do a lot of walking and not too much
eating. but still. it's WHAT i'm eating that'll make the difference. my
roomate and i get along really well, so that makes things easier. we're
both clean freaks so we vaccuum like 2x a day. we both can be loud as
anything but like to sleep at decent hours and yeah. a lotta other
things we have in common. as long as we keep things up, we'll be all
good. hehe.
i think maybe if you ask me in another week, i might have a different reflection. haha. i hope not though.
hmm. now from a spiritual standpoint. i've really seen God working a
lot in my life ever since i got here. it's been an interesting
experience seeing all the church people outside of church 4 or 5 days
in a row. haha. it really keeps your faith up having group prayers and
all. the fact that i'm kind of "on my own" all the way on livingston
(haha), keeps it up too. i learn to be a little more careful of what i
do, who i meet, how much i pray. whatever. plus since i know i can't
just have the room to myself when i want it to myself, i make SURE i
block out time to pray and read Bible.
God also really helped me with my schedule. originally, i was really
upset that my intro. to communication class was all the way on douglass
which is like anywhere from a 20-40 minute bus ride-- not to
mention it's from 7:40-9. but, the ride was really quick there and back
last night. incase the commute does get a little rough, i met someone
who lives two houses over from me who can drive us both. so i really
thank God for that because without that class, i can't get into the
communcations program.
well, after my morning class, i'll be off to SC @ hillsboro for the
weekend. hope everyone is doing well with their new year-- school,
careers and all.
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| i hope i've learned for the last time never to defy God.
i got in my first car accident today. i really give great thanks to God
that it wasn't a major one, nor was anybody hurt. however, i feel
terrible -- so foolish and so guilty.
i spent two weeks at NYTS repenting to God for all the sins i have
committed and promised to be more careful with my actions in the
future. i spent a number of hours learning about the importance of
Sabbath and how we are meant to observe the Sabbath day and not the
Sabbath hour. i told Him that i would try my best to make every friday
night service/fellowship from there on and that i would never skip
Sabbath unless it was academic or career oriented -- along those lines.
but within another two weeks, i had already broken those promises.
last friday, when i first got back from California, my excuse was that
i was too tired to drive to church. last night is where i began to
bargain with God. i was gonna go to church yesterday to catch the last
day of J1/J2 SSC and partake Holy Communion. later on, i found out that
it was all gonna be over by 2pm and my mom needed the car in the
morning. so i thought, fine, i'll just go for night service. then as
the day moved on, i decided to find a way out. normally, i'm late for
church. i'm not really sure what takes my family so long to get ready,
but we're always late. so i thought, well i'm gonna be on time
tomorrow. so i'll actually show up for all of morning sermon, the way i
should have always done, and then i just won't go for friday night
service.
that was just the beginning. then, my mom decides that since RE opening
cermony was in the afternoon and it wasn't "that important", then we
could just leave early and take my cousins out since it's my last
weekend home before they leave. my sister and i didn't really argue
because we didn't think it was a big deal.
about five minutes after we pulled onto the parkway coming back from
church, the rain started to pour. the type where most people pull over
on the side and somep eople drive 10 miles an hour with their hazard
lights on. my stomach began to churn and i knew something wasn't right.
but still, i didn't say anything. i didn't really think much of it
after the rain passed. i ignored the voice inside of me and figured it
was about time it rained, being that it was ridiculously humid outside.
i went on with my early afternoon. when we got home, the power went out
and somethind inside me told me things weren't right. nontheless,
i went on. my sister and i decided to go run some errands, and that's
where the warnings stopped. i got into an accident pulling out of the
parking lot. sure it was just the bumper and no one was hurt and the
people on the opposing side were fairly nice about it, but it would
have been nothing if i just followed His commandment.
a list of "if only's" run through my mind as i think back through my
last two weeks back home. i've simply fallen back into a slightly more
religious version of my old lifestyle and now it's twice as bad.
because i know exactly what to do, and yet i don't do it-- which is
exactly what the Bible says NOT to do. maybe and hopefully i've learned
my lesson this time around.
the interesting thing is that my mom said specifically not to go to
that area. we went to one store and then it was sold out so we resorted
to this one. it's all very ironic. i wrote an essay during NYTS about
the snowball effect-- how sometimes our sins lie within one another and
they just grow bigger and bigger. much like we often cover up our sins
with lies that grow bigger and bigger. by skipping church, i broke a
commandment of God. by taking light of what my mom said to me, i
dishonored her and in turn, broke another commandment of God.
life truly has its interesting moments... | | |
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